Make Your Own Mayo

Bonus!  Two posts in one night! 

Okay, so "Make Your Own Mayo" probably sounds disastrous.  Or, just like a terrible idea in general.  Maybe? 

Here's the thing.  I don't eat condiments.  For the longest time, I have been anti-condiment.  I am a huge fan of sauces, dressings, relishes, or anything else you'd put on your food to add some zest... except condiments.  Specifically, the big three:  ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise.  

That changed slightly in 2010 when I started to like mustard.  It's the only exception.  Then I read a recipe for tuna salad that called for an entirely different recipe version of homemade mayo.  Blah.  It was yet another one of my new favorite paleo recipe blogger's, though, so I thought I'd give it a shot.  

Around 11:00 tonight, I started peeling and grating vegetables for some meatballs, figuring I'd tackle the mayo while the meatballs were baking.

Ha.

Problem 1: There was major emphasis in the recipe on getting the consistency right.  Given that I haven't eaten mayonnaise in well over a decade, I have no idea what that consistency is.   

Problem 2: The directions also placed a priority on slooooooowly drizzling in the olive oil while continuing to blend the mixture.  I don't own a blender.  I own a Ninja, which is fabulous and kicks blender butt.  However, you can't pop off the lid and continue blending while adding ingredients the way you do with a normal blender.

My solution was to drizzle in the teeniest bit of olive oil, then blend.  Drizzle, then blend.  Drizzle, then blend.  I needed to do that for a total of 1 cup of olive oil.  I swear to you right now that my measuring cup was filled to 3/4 of a cup after at least seven different drizzle/blend iterations.  

By this point, my patience was gone.  But worse, my Ninja was getting really hot from all the blending.  I'm pretty sure you aren't supposed to cook the mayonnaise at any point, so I poured the entire thing into a tiny food processor and picked up where I had left off.  

Friends, some five hours and six episodes of Friday Night Lights later, I have a jar of something.  It may or may not resemble mayonnaise.  Which, I had no desire to consume in the first place. 

I'll keep you posted.